


“That’s right motherfuckers...I’m gay”

by bluegreenspierfelds



Series: Bram Greenfeld is Shy...(and gay) [1]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Emails (Simonverse), M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 18:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegreenspierfelds/pseuds/bluegreenspierfelds
Summary: Simon's quest for a boyfriend...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Simon decided that being of jealous of the straight couples wasn’t going to get him a boyfriend. He resorted to (badly) flirting with guys who didn’t have a girlfriends. Only three boys in his junior class were single.Bram GreenfeldCal PriceMartin Addison (yeah...hell no...Not even it someone paid him)





	“That’s right motherfuckers...I’m gay”

**Author's Note:**

> idk i hope you like it?

Simon is walking though his own personal hell, Creekwood High School. Granted, high school is supposed to suck. Simon didn’t hate school for the early mornings, nagging teachers or the stupid amount of homework he was assigned. 

_ Nope. _

He hated high school because his classmates, hormonal, overly sexually active classmates. Simon didn’t make it through a school day without seeing at least one straight couple sucking face or showing any form PDA. This particular morning, Simon was greeted by his two friends pressed up _ his  _ locker  _ making out...like making out...like almost making a baby….making out _ … _ Ew  _

_ How can they breathe? _

_ Wow I hope they’re alright after this  _

_ KISSING MARATHON..WHO WILL WIN? _

Simon got out of his realizing they didn’t feel his presence. He was staring at them for so long...he thought people would start staring at him. He sees the headline on Creeksecrets now.

 

_ SIMON SPIER: RESIDENT GAY GUY STARES AT HIS BEST FRIENDS KISSING EACH OTHER  _

_ IS HE ACTUALLY STRAIGHT? OR JUST FUCKING WEIRD?? _

 

_ JESUS FUCKING CHRIST  _

 

“YO” 

They broke apart like lighting struck in between them. Nick instantly reached for his binder he lazily threw on the floor. He immediately used to cover his boner... _ Ew...why did he even check to see if he had one…. _

Simon wasn’t expecting them to break apart so quickly. He prepared a few jokes in his head in case they ignored him.  _ Damn his friends ruin E V E R Y T H I N G. _ They mumbled their sorrys and hellos, as Simon dug in his locker.  Abby casually tried to fix her hair, reapply her lip gloss and checked reflection on her phone screen. Simon kept the  _ if you make a baby on my locker, you gotta name them after me  _ comment to himself but another sly comment slipped out.  __

 

“They don’t call me walking birth control for nothing..” Simon scoffed and opened in his locker.

 

“No one calls you that…” Nick said, completely confused by the joke. 

 

“No, but they should” Simon said closing his locker. 

 

He waved goodbye to them, to start his trek to English. 

 

_ I wonder how many straight people I’ll see boning today _ . 

Being the only (openly) gay kid at Creekwood wasn’t too bad. They were accepting, as accepting a small town in Georgia could be. He no longer had to endure awkward conversations asking him when he was getting a girlfriend.

 

He wasn’t sure if more pressure was coming from his peers or his parents. They have been dropped hints for some time. Simon pretended to ignore their efforts…. _ well  _ he ignored them until he couldn’t. He snapped one day, he was sitting at dinner with his family and it slipped out. 

His dad made a stupid heterosexual joke over dinner, instead of fake laugh and nodding along. He just said it.

“I’m gay” 

His dad choked on the jasmine rice his sister Nora made. He cleared his throat, drank some water and dinner continued. _ Well dinner continued AFTER an insanely awkward conversation. _

A few awkward conversations later...he was out to everyone he knew. His friends did a decent job of spreading the word. Every time a girl would approach the lunch table to ask out Simon, someone at their lunch would say “He’s gay”  __

 

It was kind of inside joke with his lunch table. The first few times Simon said it rather awkwardly “yeah I’m gay sorry” _ .  _ After a while Leah took over, her deadpan scared a few girls, they would turn to Simon to confirm and he would nod. Everyone has their own version of delivering the news to these oblivious girls. 

Abby took the nice girl route, she called the random girls  _ sweetie  _ and  _ honey _ and breaking the news gently.

Garrett used his class clown persona to mess with these girls.  _ “Excuse me, are you dude? _ ” followed by  _ “then Spier isn’t interested” _

Nick went the borderline-asshole route,  _ “Do you have a concussion? Simon has been out for like EVER” _

Even Shy Bram Greenfeld got in on the joke,  _ “uh you do know he’s gay right?” _

Simon wasn’t sure why it was so funny, maybe because Bram rarely spoke or just how nicely he told that girl that Simon was not straight. The lunch retired the inside joke because Bram just fucking nailed it. 

 

Besides, being completely and utterly repulsed by the constant PDA, Simon is jealous of them. He wants to see his boyfriend after class and press him up against locker and make out until the warning bell interrupted them. Simon would settle for a boyfriend that would hold his hand around school. He would settle for a boyfriend. 

Simon decided that being of jealous of the straight couples wasn’t going to get him a boyfriend. He resorted to (badly) flirting with guys who didn’t have a girlfriends. Only three boys in his junior class were single.

  1. Bram Greenfeld
  2. Cal Price 
  3. Martin Addison ( _yeah...hell no...Not even it someone paid him)_



He started with Cal they were in drama club together.  _ Come on  _ he HAD to be gay, he was in drama club and he had blond highlights. Simon awkwardly approached him after rehearsals one day. 

“I was gonna hit up Waffle House tonight, you want in?” Simon managed to not stumble on any of his words. 

“That sounds awesome...but not tonight man Taylor asked me to run lines with his at her house” He finished off his sentence with a wink. 

_ Ew ew ew ewwwwww _

_ He just totally asked a straight guy on a date.  _

_ Ughhhhhh _

Simon cringed, “It’s cool man, have fun. Taylor is a nice girl”  _ Should he wink back? He didn’t… _

 

Bram Greenfeld….. _ Ughhhh he’s cuteeee  _

 

Simon almost crossed him off the list. He played soccer, in Simon’s mind all athletes were straight and went on dates with cheerleaders. 

 

Either Bram is really subtle with his PDA or he’s gay……

 

How was he supposed to ask this dude out if they haven’t spoken to each other without their mutual friends around. 

 

FUCK 

 

It’s all about timing….Simon didn’t know if it was flu season or the fact that Creekwood had a mini mono outbreak.  He found himself alone with Bram at their lunch table. 

 

“Oh hey, no mono for soccer star Bram” 

 

“Nah” he replied simply…. _ damn  _ Simon is really gonna have to egg him on to get some dirt on his kid. 

 

“Not kissing anyone? What I thought all the soccer guys were required to have girlfriends.” Simon is now teasing him…. _ not interrogating him..I mean his tone was joking right?...Does it sound his interrogating him?  _

Bram laughs. “ No no….A girlfriend does not come with the uniform…” 

 

“I mean I really don’t want a girlfriend” shrugging... _ oh man he’s so cute.  _

 

“So what you gay or something?” Yes, Simon did just blantily asked that boy if he was gay... _ way to be subtle Spier… _

 

Simon realized he waited quite a while to apologize to this poor kid. He was too busy mentally kicking himself. 

 

_ Okay more than a minute has passed, and there was no sputtering denials, no strong exclamations about how straight he is. Just silence….and mega blushing.  _

 

“OH MY GOD” Simon said a little to loud. Bram sunk lower in his seat. He looked around the cafeteria, like someone was going to bust him for being gay.

 

He looked down to collect his thoughts and have a possible heart to heart with Bram. Everyone deserves a gay is okay talk. Simon went to look into those insanely pretty brown eyes and he wasn’t there. 

 

Bram speed walking out of cafeteria, dumping his lunch in the bin...looking back at Simon. His eyes pleading him not chase after him. He didn’t of course...he tortured that boy enough.  

 

The next time he saw Bram was at Garrett’s party….well get together. It was a “we got over mono” party. 

 

And by we… they mean Leah, Garrett, Nick and Abby….

 

This get together started with Garrett wanted to throw a massive party that the whole school was invited to celebrate his brush with death, surviving mono. Leah instantly vetoed the idea, suggested a regular hangout session with alcohol. 

 

Simon was forced to go because it was a  _ “friends thing” _ not a “ _ couples thing”.  _ And Bram was going so he wouldn’t be the 5th wheel.  _ Whatever I’ll go for the booze. _

 

Simon had to remind himself that he was going for the booze, not that he hasn’t seen Bram in few days.  _ Stupid Winter Break.  _

 

A game of Never Have I Ever started, the gang filled their red solo cups with the rest of the wine, supplied unknowingly by Garrett’s mom. 

 

“Never have I ever got shit-faced on wine” Abby stated very seriously. 

 

Garrett chugged his wine then slurred “I RESENT THAT SUSO” Leah jokingly held him back. 

 

“WINE IS DOPE” Garrett said stumbling to find the next bottle. 

 

“Wow Leah, you’re dating a Wine Mom, how does it feel?” Abby said in between laughs. 

 

“Greenfeld you’re up” Garrett egged him on…”give us something good” 

 

“Never have I ever had mono...I don't fucking kno-” 

 

“THATS COLD GREENFELD, THAT’S COLD” Nick grabbing his chest pretending to hurt.

 

Followed by a chorus of boos, Simon and Bram looked as all their friends drank. They locked eyes with knowing looking. Bram cracked a smile. 

 

“BOOOOOO WHO INVITED THE VIRGIN” 

 

“YOU DID GARRETT”

 

“Oh right...but seriously B you need to get laid man, you into anybody….a girl? A boy? At this point I don’t give a shit...you just need to laid to chill the fuck out”

 

Garrett drunken stupor was followed by silence. Nick broke the silence  “OKAY WHO’S NEXT?” 

 

“I’LL GO! NEVER HAVE I EVER SUCKED A DICK”

 

Simon gripped his cup tighter, his lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat. He wanted to drink nonchalantly to ease the tension but then it would imply that he has sucked someone’s dick...which he hasn’t...and lying about that would only lead to more questions. Simon looked over at Bram he looked just as uncomfortable as Simon. 

  
  


“GARRETTTT STOP.” 

 

“Okay okay okay...but you did drink babe?…” Leah and Abby rolled their eyes and cheers their cups, taking a small sip. 

“Spier, I thought you were gay….no D yet...you should help him out with Br-” 

 

Garrett was physically being pulled out of the room by Leah. 

The damage has been done, Bram was looking down at his shoes. It made Simon’s heart sink, he wanted to go over to him and cheer him up. He didn’t know exactly  _ how  _ he would cheer up Bram they hardly knew each other.

 

They continued without Garrett...Nick, Leah and Abby went again. 

 

“Oh shit sorry Si we skipped you..go ahead buddy”

“Never have I ever been outed by my drunk best friend” Simon contained his laughter, it was his attempt to lighten the mood. Bram smiled at him, a little twinkle in his eyes.  

 

Bram chugged his drink very dramatically, and proceed to laugh and giggle. 

 

Instead of waiting for the prying questions he said, “That’s right motherfuckers...I’m gay”

 

Nick, Abby, and Leah’s jaw’s were on the floor. 

 

Simon was laughing his ass off...Mentally cheering on Bram. 

 

_ Go Greenfeld go Greenfeld  _

 

The wine ran out a little after Bram’s coming out...they toasted to “Bram’s gay ass” 

 

Leah and Garrett went up to his room, Leah practically dragging him, being a little less than loving and caring because of the stuff he said to Simon and Bram. Leah was protective of her friends, Garrett wouldn’t hear the end of this for a while. 

 

Abby and Nick went up to the guest room. Nick and Abby were the happy, semi-flirty drunks...giggling and booping each others noses while they struggled up the stairs. 

 

“You kids be safe! Use protection! Love you!” Simon called up to them, starting his own giggle fit, Bram joined him. 

 

“You sound like my mom,” Bram said in between giggles. 

 

“How so?” Simon looked at him curiously.  

 

“When I came out to my mom, she gave me the whole ‘use protection’ speech, that put all other sex talks to shame” Bram said blushing furiously. 

 

“Anyways she convinced I was fucking the whole soccer team...actually I think she still thinks I am” 

 

“OH! Other time I told her I was staying Garrett’s house to study, she gave me CONDOMS and lube...after insisting Garrett was in fact VERY straight...she still made me bring them” 

 

Simon knew this story was personal and quite embarrassing, he wasn’t sure if Bram was actually drunk bambling or just using faking it to tell Simon but himself without judgement.  

 

After exchanging embarrassing and silly stories, they decided that sleep with the best option. 

 

Bram and Simon were left in the living room with pull-out couch and busted recliner. Simon volunteered to sleep on the recliner...before he knew it was broken and did not actually recline. 

  
  


“There’s room for two you know…” Bram said inviting Simon to join him. Patting the empty spot next him. Before Simon knew it, he was crawling into bed with Bram. A half-naked Bram Greenfeld. 

_ Whew don’t think about that...Yeah I don’t think that you and Bram are half-naked laying on a futon. Geez, why did boys have to sleep half-naked, why just boxers? And if you were shy (like me) you wore tee shirt and boxers. If you were as confident as Bram Greenfeld, you wore boxers and nothing more….OKAY ENOUGH THINKING ABOUT WHAT BRAM IS WEARING OR HIS LACK OF CLOTHING.  _

 

Simon noticed Bram was staring at him,  _ yeah he probably because he looked like psycho having argument with himself. _

 

Simon looked into his eyes, and damn he just about died right there. Cause of death: drowning in Bram Greenfeld’s eyes...like chocolate pools, he wanted to drowned, he wanted to devour….He wanted Bram to be  _ his. Be mine... _ Simon wasn’t sure but those eyes looked like he was inviting him in, come for a swim, make me yours.  

 

Simon broke the silence, “Can I kiss you?” Simon whispered...he’s not even sure Bram heard him. 

 

“Absolutely not” Bram whispered with a smile on his face. A pure, genuine smile.  _ Jesus Bram is one cruel motherfucker...he doesn’t look sorry about reject him... _

 

Simon was going to turn to face the other way, he thought he could cry right there. A arm grabbed for him, stopping him from turning all the way around.  Bram stopped him. “I was kidding” Bram gently grabbed his cheek and kissed him. He was kissing him, like he fucking meant it.

 

“Good night, Simon”

 

Simon didn’t sleep good that night, a little worried about what would happen in morning. He thought about Bram being his boyfriend, Bram kissing him. That’s the only thing on his mind, Bram Greenfeld will be on his mind for quite while. 

**Author's Note:**

> There's part 2/companion piece to this, you find out what happens to Bram and Simon after that night... Its already written...so holla if you want me to post it  
> Also check me out on tumblr, bluegreenspierfelds, (i'm not very active but I'm taking prompts there, also if you want to talk or anything...


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